10 Tips To Orgasm on Your Terms

Ahoy Seaward Seamen! Today we are celebrating the end of May is National Masturbation month. We are exploring something that is often connected with Masturbation - ORGASMS!

Orgasms are something that are very healthy and masturbation is a great form of self-care. Do you eat healthy? Do you exercise? Masturbation, orgasams and pleasure in general are in that same category of maintaining a healthy body.

Orgasming can be like sneezing for some people, it happens when it happens but not necessarily on their terms. However for some folks orgasming can be something that is not easy for them, and therefore presents less of a form of relaxation and more of a trigger of stress. Many people struggle with achieving orgasm but not all of those people have anorgasmia, or the medical inability to orgasm.

Here are 10 tips and tricks if you are trying to orgasm on your terms:

1. Have Patience & Take Breaks: Masturbation is a healthy form of self-care

If you are struggling with orgasms, it may just be you are not going yourself enough time. If something is feeling good, give it the time time to plateau into feeling REALLY good. It is not uncommon for some folks to take more than 40 min to achieve orgasm, which means you need to pace yourself. Think about leaning all your weight on your hand resting on a surface. What happens to your hand? It feels numb, when all the blood pools in the area with the pressure the nerves don’t send messages as clearly and you can’t feel much. Same with your genitals if you have too much pressure on them, you can’t feel as much. Too much pressure isn’t going to hurt you, just make sure to take breaks and pace yourself. And don’t focus too much on your orgasm, focus more on having an enjoyable time.

2. Breathe: And breathe some more!

When your genitals are engorged with highly oxygenated blood you are more easily able to stimulate them. So breathe, breathe BREATHE! Breath until you feel stupid, then breath more more! Many people have the habit of holding their breath while trying to orgasm, and while this may work for some people, if you are struggling with orgasming during masturbation breathing is your friend.

3. Evaluate Your Current Health & Medication: Eat antioxidant-rich foods / Avoid caffeine & nicotine

Another way to keep your blood pumping to your nether-region is to seek out antioxidants in your diet. Things like blueberries, green tea, and spinach are great ways to oxygenate your body. Additionally avoiding things like cigarettes and caffeine, which both restrict blood flow , is a good suggestion if you are trying to orgasm more.

It is a good idea to evaluate your overall health and medications to see if maybe that might be contributing to your struggles with orgasming during masturbation. For some folks medications like birth control or antidepressants can affect how they experience pleasure. Some people on birth control have lower libidos and need more foreplay then when they are unmediated. Many people on antidepressants, like SSRIs, will find that their genitals are less sensitive and may need more intense stimulation (like a vibrator) to achieve orgasm while they are medicated.

4. The Right Environment: When in doubt... take a warm bath!

As Sebastian said, “first you gotta create da mood!” Set yourself up for success. Make sure you are in a space that you will be less likely to be interrupted. This is you-time so take the phone off the hook, put a movie on for the kids, give the cat some nip, put your phone on silent, whatever you need to do to check out and create an environment that it focused on checking in with your own pleasure. Giving yourself this regular time to check in with your pleasure, orgasm or not, it a great self-care gift you can give to yourself (and it’s free)! Even if you don’t have your own private bedroom you can always take a warm bath and have private tub time.

5. Engage Your Brain: Focus on your pleasure

The brain is the biggest sex organ in the body, and if it is not engaged than you are not likely going to be successful in achieving orgasm. If you are feeling uncomfortable when masturbating it is going to be difficult to relax and enjoy yourself so do what you need to do to get your brain ready to focus on pleasure. If you are a germaphobe and worry about dirty hands you can always use gloves (just avoid latex if you have allergies). If you need some extra inspiration read some erotica or watch some porn. Or just use that vivid imagination of yours, whatever it takes to get your brain off of your to-do list and focused on doing you!

6. Clench & Unclench Muscles: Squeeze your butt & wiggle your toes

Again you wanna get that oxygen-filled blood pumping toward your gens so another easy trick is to move your body while you are masturbating. You want to make sure your body is relaxed and a good trick is to clench all your muscles and then unclench them, you may be surprised what unclenches when you relax. Focus on relaxing your shoulders and jaw because these tend to be areas where people hold a lot of tension. Next wiggle your toes to make sure your feet and toes are flexed and this movement will also help your blood flow. Finally squeeze your butt muscles together and then relax them over and over again as you are exploring your body, this is a great way to get blood pumping below the waist. As you stimulate yourself your goal is to get your hips subconsciously bucking toward the genital stimulation, this may take time and the tush clenching will help get your body bucking.

7. Make Some Noise: At least smile

Many people find that making noise during masturbation will help them achieve orgasm. Some people feel uncomfortable making sex noises, so you can always do things like laugh, cough or just make exclamations like “wow!” If you are worried about your volume (or the volume or your sex toy) you can get a white-noise maker, play some music, put on a movie, or just get an old fan. If you have super thin walls or live with a lot of people and you need to stay quiet, at least move your face. A good trick is to smile to get your brain engaged in being happy. Or make a bunch of silly "o faces", why not have your own Office Space moment?

8. Bear Down: You're not going to pee

A lot of folks may have heard the tip to “bear down” to help you orgasm, but you may not know what that means. To bear down means to flex out your abdomen and pelvic floor muscles, but what does that mean?! These are the muscles you use when you are urinating or having a bowel movement, and you will often feel them flex during a large cough. If you are worried this flexing will make you pee before you orgasm, that is unlikely, only because as you get more sexually aroused your body makes it harder for your bladder to release urine. But if you are really concerned just go to the bathroom before masturbating, or masturbate in a pee-friendly environment like the shower. If you have a lot of fluid or ejaculate when you orgasm, well that’s what old towels are for!

9. Put Pressure on the Pubic Mound: Yah that’s that area of fat under your pubic hair

The pubic mound, or mons pubis, is the mound of fat that is directly underneath the front area of pubic hair (or where public hair would be). Placing a flat palm of pressure on the public mound with a slight downward pressure resisting the upward pressure of your bucking or butt flexing is another simple way to increase pressure to the genitals. Although there are not sensitive nerves in the pubic mound (as there are in the head of the penis or the clit) many people find that this pressure can assist them in orgasming.

10. Variety Is Spice of Life: Try something new!

If you are struggling with achieving an orgasm during masturbation don't be afraid to try something new:

• Explore your whole body, you don’t need to just focus on your genitals. Try stimulating your own nipples, tickle your body with a feather, restrict your sensations with a silk blindfold, or try anal masturbation. This is your body, you have the right to enjoy every inch of it!

• You can also try a lubricant during masturbation. There are many different kinds of lubricants out there, just be sure to spot test the lube on your lip before using it on your genitals. A simple lube can assist in “greasing the wheels” of masturbation, but if you want a special effects lube like warming or cooling look for lube with natural active ingredients like cinnamon or peppermint.

• A sex toy can be a great addition to masturbation play. Look for a toy with more than one vibration setting (a pulsation setting is a nice option too) and a shape with a simple curve and a good surface area. If you want to know what the vibration feels like check out a store and test the vibration on the tip of your nose rather that on your hand, the tip of your nose has a smaller surface area and is more sensitive than your hands. If a toy is too strong on your genitals, no you can’t return it, but you can put it in the palm of your hand and then extend your finger to transfer a diffused vibration to whatever part of your body you want.

I hope these tips are helpful, if you have any tips of your own we would love to hear them at Mail Call or email us directly at SailorJerri@gmail.com !

#bodypositivity #sexuality #safesex #orgasm