Buying Your First Sex Toy

Ahoy, today we are discussing one of my favorite subjects: Sex Toys! Sex Toys are a fun way to add please and reduce risk in your sex life. But picking a Sex Toy can be overwhelming. There are so many different kinds of toys from so many different companies and they all claim to be “The Best!”

Remember, there are few things are personal as pleasure so it may be difficult to find the perfect toy right away. You may also need different toys for different activities. So let’s explore the different types of sex toys.

When you are going to buy a toy there are some important things to consider:

1. Who is going to use this sex toy?

2. What Type and Style of Sex Toy do you want to buy?

3. What material do you want the toy made of?

4. What features do you want the toy to have?

5. What is your budget?

Who is Going to Use the Toy?

The answer to this question is going to tell you a lot about the type of toy you want. Is the toy intended for someone with a Penis or a Vagina? Some toys are made with specific bodies in mind, but that is not to say you MUST only use the toy in the body it is intended for. You may find that toys that are designed with your intended body-part in mind will work better for you. Do you plan on using this toy alone or with someone else? If you are planning on sharing your toy be sure it is made with an easy-to-clean material. While you should always ask “How do I clean this toy” it is VERY important if you plan on sharing the toy. If you are really concerned you can always cover the toy with a condom during partner play.

Styles and Types of Sex Toys

Styles

There many be a lot of toys out there but sex toys can be broken down into three basic style categories: 1. Toys intended to be used internally (Like dildos)

2. Toys intended to be used externally (Like Cock Rings)

3. Toys intended to be used an accessory to sex (Like Restraints)

Toy Types

Vibrators

A vibrator is just a sex toy that includes a vibrating motor. Some are shaped like penises some are not. Vibratos can be designed to be used internally, externally, or they may be designed to provide dual stimulation to internal and external simultaneously.

Dildos

A dildo is a sex toy that does NOT include a vibrating motor. Some are shaped like penises some are not. A dildo is designed to be used internally.

Harness

A harness is a strapping system designed to hold a dildo against a part of the body. It is the perfect tool to make any dildo hands-free. Many harnesses are designed to be worn like underwear and hold a dildo facing away from the body. Some harnesses are designed to be worn on other body parts, like thigh harnesses, or hand harnesses. There are harness designed to hold multiple dildos and/or vibrators. Some harnesses are designed with penis-havers in mind while others are not.

“Pocket Pussies”

I prefer to call them “Strokers” because not all style imitate female anatomy. A stoker is a male masturbation toy. Some are closed at one end and will collect ejaculate. Others are open at both ends and can be used during partner play. Some have hard shells and others do not. There is even a wide variety of novelty strokers like blow up dolls.

Cock Rings

A cock ring is a ring that can be placed around a penis , it can be worn around just the penis or both the penis and scrotum, or just the scrotum alone. Cock rings are used for Turgidity (swelling due to being filled with fluid, in this case blood). The Cavernous Artery brings blood into the Penis and the Dorsal Vein allows blood to leave. Cock rings cut off the Dorsal Vein leaving the Penis Turgid. This is why it is best to have a 20-minute-on-the-body-then-20-minute-off-the-body Policy (This policy suggest you keep the Cock Ring on the penis for 20 minutes or less followed by a period of 20 minutes or more with the Cock Ring off of the penis). Some cock rings have vibrators on them. This vibration will transfer into the shaft turning the wearer into a human sex toy! There are also decorative cock rings intended less for turgidity and more for aesthetics or for lifestyle-play.

Butt Toys

There are dildos and vibratos that can be used for anal play but make sure the toy you buy is INTENDED for anal play if you are going to use it for that. Why? Because the anus is a vacuum. Yes a vacuum, which means TOYS CAN GET STUCK IN YOUR BUTT! Be sure that your toy is made of a material that is easy to keep clean (for example, medical-grade or food-grade silicone) and won’t collect bacteria. The shape of anal toys is very important as well, anal toys need to be a simple shape with no creases to collect bacteria, no sharp seams that may irritate your anus, and MOST IMPORTANTLY the toy must have a hilt. Much like the hilt of a sword keeps it from falling into its scabbard the hilt of a butt toy (be it a plug, anal beads, a dildo, or a vibrator) keeps it from being slurped into your bootay. Some anal toys are intended to stay in during intercourse or just to wear around, these are called “Butt Plugs”. Another common type of butt toy are “Anal Beads”. Beads are intended to be inserted into the anus and removed slowly during intercourse (Remember: it’s not a motor starter cord!). Some anal toys may say “For Prostate Stimulation”, that does not mean that these toys can only be used on folks that have prostates it usually just means that the toy has a curve that is conducive for prostate stimulation. Some anal toys will also have bonus aesthetics like jewels or tails, as fun as these are be sure you are able to effectively wash them.

Kink Toys and Accessories

There are LOTS of different types of Kink toys but the most common types you will see will be related to Restraints, Sensory Deprivation, Impact, or other Sensation-Play. Restraints are toys that limit the mobility of the wearer, like hand cuffs. Sensory deprivation toys eliminate the wearers ability to see or hear their surrounding, like blindfolds or hoods. Impact play toys are intended to be used during floggings (sexual spanking of the body), like paddles or crops. Sensation play toys are any type of toy that stimulates the skin. These skin sensations can be as gentle as a feather or as intense as electrified nipple clamps. Other Kink toy categories include clothing (like hosiery or corsetry) and identity-wear (like leather-wear for people in the leather community or full animal “fursona” costumes for Furries)

Toy Materials

Sex Toys are awesome, but remember Sex Toys made in America are NOT government regulated! That means you need to look at what material the toy is made with to make sure it is safe.

A WARNING ABOUT PHTHALATES

Phthalates are a chemical compound added to plastics to soften them. The controversy surrounding phthalates stems from research findings that phthalates may cause reproductive harm and/or cancer. Subsequently, the use of phthalates in children’s toys has been banned in the European Union and the United States. But you will often still find phthalates present in “Jelly” sex toys. The smell emitted by toys with phthalates (outgassing) is indicative of the amount of phthalates contained in the toy. Additionally avoid toys made with “Jelly” plastic and any toys that are made with vinyl because these toys will actually melt together overtime. Be sure to look for toys that are labeled “phthalate-free”.

Silicone

This is one of the safest materials on the market! Silicone is nonporous, inert, and can be sterilized by boiling for 3-5 minutes. It holds temperature and transfers vibration extremely well. It is also hypoallergenic and ranges in texture form very firm to skin like softness. Silicone is compatible with water based lubes, but may degrade with the use of silicone lubes. Remember, a toy only needs to contain 5% silicone to call itself a “Silicone Toy”. So look for toys that are “Medical Grade” or “Food Grade Silicone” or that are made with 100% silicone. Silicone may often be a more expensive option, but it will last a very long time.

Tempered or Borosilicate Glass

Borosilicate glass is very crack-resistant glass that is perhaps most commonly found in laboratory glassware. Tempered glass is glass that has been treated to make it stronger and safer; it is quite common and is found in many places, including safety glass windows and doors. Toys that are made with Tempered or Borosilicate glass are safe and easy to sterilize (you can often just throw them in the dishwasher). Sometimes you will see these referred to as “Pyrex dildos”. Pyrex is a brand name that has been generalized to include all items made of borosilicate glass. Glass can be expensive and it does need to be stored properly, because a fall from a high shelf at the wrong angle could chip your toy or break your toe.

Surgical Steel

316 stainless steel, also referred to as marine grade stainless steel, or surgical steel is a chromium, nickel, molybdenum alloy of steel that exhibits relatively good strength and corrosion resistance. It is easy to sterilize by boiling for 1-3 minutes (or you can put it in an autoclave if you have one handy). And because this is the same steel used in bone screws you KNOW it is body safe! The weight of the steel give it a very present sensation when inserted without depending on girth. Steel can be a very expensive option but it will last a lifetime.

Tempered Plastics

Not all plastic sex toys are created equal. TPE (Thermo Plasticized Elastomer), TPR (Thermo Plasticized Rubber), ABS (Acrylonitrile butadiene styrene ), and Acrylics are all plastics that have been treated to be less porous and therefore easier to clean and maintain. These options are NOT non-porous but they are as non-porous as plastic can get and they are often a very affordable option. Some plastic toys are soft and are affordable alternatives to silicone while other can be very firm making them an affordable alternative to glass. TPE, TPR, ABS and Acrylics are body-safe plastics so be sure to check the label on your toy’s packaging.

Toy Features

Another factor to consider when choosing a Sex Toy are the feature that you require the toy to have. Do you want a toy that is battery powered or rechargeable? Battery powered toys are often cheaper but they may be bulkier or louder than rechargeable toys. Additionally rechargeable toys are eco-conscious and incredible convenient (unless you do a lot of international travel with your toy, then foreign plugs may be too annoying to deal with). Do you need your toy to be submersible? Then you need a truly waterproof toy. Often toys will say “Waterproof” when they mean “Splashproof” so if you really want a toy that can go underwater look for one that charges magnetically (inductive charging) that way the toy will have no open parts for water to enter and damage the toy. You may also want to sex toy that offers a manufacturer's warranty.

Budget

It is important NOT to break the bank on your first toy. It is challenging to find a sex toy you like and your first toy will tell you a lot about what you like and don’t like. After you use it you will say to yourself: “I wish this toy ___”. Then you will a better idea of what you want out of a more expensive toy in the future.

Buying your first sex toy may seem overwhelming, but there is NO WRONG ANSWER! See what is out there and follow your interests. If you are thinking of buying a toy check out our Treasure Chest Toy Reviews to see if there is anything that interests you. Additionally, I suggest checking out your local sex shop with a selection of display toys, this way you can check out all the features of the toy in person!

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